Please see my article, Jonah: The Angry Prophet. For the most part, God commanded Jews to remain separate from Gentiles. God’s commissioning of Jonah to go to Nineveh was an exception. In His earthly ministry, Jesus continued this separation (Matthew -6; -28, see my article, Two Remarkable Healings). Peter addressed only Jews at Pentecost and did not want to go to the house of the Gentile, Cornelius, several years later. Paul, on the other hand, was commissioned by the risen Lord as the apostle of the Gentiles (Romans ). It was Paul who evangelized Gentiles, not Peter or the Twelve.
STOP,its all anxiety ,i thought i had everything as paul says above dont question it anymore just go with it ,read the book again ,read some older posts it tells you your not losing your mind its your anxiety ,its rotten but just keep going,it will get easier i promise ,as i have said i feel that no one has had anxiety as bad as me ,but i know i made it worse looking back ,go on with your life dont question it just roll with it , i truly have been there its awful if you let it ,iam 90% better now thank god and life is good xxx